I'm starting to realize I have a longing at being better at something else too: writing lyrics. As a guitarist, I would often write musical pieces - yet I would long to write lyrics that adequately captured the complexity of my emotions and feelings that I conveyed in the music. I know that I am not skilled at expressing myself through words, which is why I think it comes more freely through the guitar.
Similarly, I think it's why I connect well with certain artists. Namely, Eric Owyoung (Something Like Silas / Future of Forestry) and Jon Foreman (Switchfoot) are the artists that most often strike a chord in me. Their lyrics resonate with me and I feel like they are often expressing emotions that I am unable to. Even more than this, they are able to weave their lyrics into their music so seamlessly that they create a single united entity - such that their is no separation between the emotions conveyed through the words and the music.
A lot of modern Christian music lacks creativity. Not that the artists aren't creative at all, but there I don't feel deep creative passion. Hillsong's lyrics are full of passion, but I don't feel it outside of the lyrics (not hating on Hillsong... just saying their music isn't designed the same way). What Jon Foreman and Eric Owyoung do is seek God passionately and creatively through their music. They don't straight up say "I praise you God," but that sentiment is abounding in their songs. It's not the type of music that people easily pick up and can sing, but I believe that's a good thing. Instead of a simple chord progression and melody, it is a deeper exploration of music. They seek out new aspects of God, and aren't afraid to be honest with their words or music.
We are called to be creative beings. God created us in His image, which intrinsically makes us creative. Throughout the Bible, music has been used to connect man with God. There is something that tones and pitches convey that words can not describe. We strive to memorize quotes and facts and ideas and often fail - but lyrics stick with us. It is something that I can not quantify, but it is real. It is almost an emotional connection to God - a unspoken path into the most holy places.
If we are called to be creative, why can't our worship reflect this. We need to break the stereotype that worship is simply singing songs to God. Even more importantly, we need to break the stereotype that musicians giving their all and playing to the best of their ability becomes a "performance" if it's worship music. A musician giving all he has for God should not be looked down on. The simplicity of worship music enhances the disparity between what is considered a "performance" (aka playing well) and "worship music" (aka strumming a few chords).
So back to the point: we should and need to worship God with our creativity. I worship God more effectively with a song that I don't know how to sing, but expresses my emotions, than a simple song that I can sing about God but don't connect to it. There is something about listening to an honest reflection of core of a person's soul and the simplicity of the truth around him that opens up a deeper understanding of who God is. As we explore more of the creation, we are bound to discover truth about the creator.
I have found little more powerful than doing this through music. Discovering more of who God is through a channel that is already indescribably bringing you closer to Him. Music is powerful, and God has potential to move a man's soul through it.
How I long to take part in that. To write a song that reflects the core of who I am and the truth around me -a song that extracts the music of my soul and layers on poetic truth into a single unified offering to God. It is my prayer that I experience God deeper through this quest for musical creation, and can in turn share it to bless others.
It is only appropriate that I end with a lyric that captures my feelings, from Future of Forestry's "I Fall"
I'll find a voice to bring you honor
If You could only give me the melody to give You
The affection that my heart knows but never found the song
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