Meet them where they are

Just this night, around 5,000 people gathered at Occupy Cal on Sproul. Some were there to show solidarity with occupy movement and some where just there to hear Robert Reich speak. Despite their reasoning, I believe all the people there were open to learn and discuss the change they would like to see. Meanwhile, Interpraise was occurring only 2 blocks away. This was a cross-fellowship gathering to worship God in Christian unity.

There is some profound disconnect with this. Sproul was full of thousands of people fighting for economic and social justice in our country and looking for hope. They have grown tired with the realities of this life. They know that we as humanity are meant for so much more than the current state of society provides. Deep down, there is a need for change to fix the brokenness they feel. They are sacrificing their time, efforts, and even physical health towards the pursuit of change. I know these efforts will be in vain. Don't get me wrong, I believe in the power of this movement and that it has the ability to stop tuition increases, make public education more affordable, and fight the wealth imbalance in this country. I believe that this occupy movement has the potential to achieve much of what they seek. But these things are not their true desire.

Let's say they "fix the system." Let's say the protesters manage to make public education affordable to all and dramatically cut the wealth imbalance between the rich and poor in America. Let's say the banks and corporations truly become accountable and stop"controlling" the political process with their money. Then what? Sure it may satisfy the immediate need for change, but they are all external things. This sense, deep down, that change is needed will not leave. I think many of these protesters will eventually become disenchanted and begin to fight for change in other aspects of society.

This movement is driven by deep-rooted desire for change. People are externalizing it to bigger societal issues. These can be very important and worthwhile causes, but once they are achieved there will still be dissatisfaction. I believe that what they are really seeking is the hope that only God can provide. They sense the brokenness of this world, and strive for redemption from it. If only Christians could step into that void with the Good News of Jesus' death and resurrection and His ability to save us from our brokenness. If only there was someone there to tell them of the hope Jesus offers that there is so much more than the world has to offer. This campus is ready to hear the truth that "will set them free." They are right there on Sproul, right now, seeking out change and open to ideas for how to get there. Why can't we Christians go and meet them where they are, and share our God with them in the context of where they are and what they understand?

Then I remembered all the Christians at Interpraise... 2 blocks away. Sure, it was planned way beforehand, but the symbolism struck home. As Christians, we often choose not to engage society. Society is dirty, and we like our clean worship songs and prayer. Worship and prayer are good things, but the Jesus of the Bible went out to the dirty places. He met with the unclean, on their own ground, and related to them in ways they could understand.

I think this protest necessitates that Christians take risks. We can no longer afford to sit and watch as events unfold. This is our campus, this is our society, and we are just as responsible as anyone else to bring restoration and peace. We need to put ourselves out there on the front lines of these discussions, bringing with us hope Jesus offers. It is not the healthy that need doctors, but the sick. We've been spending a lot of time with the healthy. I can't help but feel that this protest is going to be a challenge for the Christian community on campus. It is my prayer that we rise up to meet the challenge and that we engage the campus with love and humility. Most importantly, we must bring the hope and restoration that can only be found in God.

This can not be forceful evangelism. As we start conversations and discussions about the topics of the occupy movement, I believe themes of worldly dissatisfaction and hope for a better future will inevitably arise. It is there, when we meet them where they are, that I believe we can convey the gospel in it's most raw form. This protest is reaching the most raw aspects of our humanity, and our most deeply held moral convictions that there is something "better" out there. Let's show them that the "better" is found in Jesus, and He will bring the internal transformation they mistakenly seek externally.

Lyrical Longings

Have you ever been asked the question "What is one thing you wish you were better at."? I used to always answer "singing."

I'm starting to realize I have a longing at being better at something else too: writing lyrics. As a guitarist, I would often write musical pieces - yet I would long to write lyrics that adequately captured the complexity of my emotions and feelings that I conveyed in the music. I know that I am not skilled at expressing myself through words, which is why I think it comes more freely through the guitar.

Similarly, I think it's why I connect well with certain artists. Namely, Eric Owyoung (Something Like Silas / Future of Forestry) and Jon Foreman (Switchfoot) are the artists that most often strike a chord in me. Their lyrics resonate with me and I feel like they are often expressing emotions that I am unable to. Even more than this, they are able to weave their lyrics into their music so seamlessly that they create a single united entity - such that their is no separation between the emotions conveyed through the words and the music.

A lot of modern Christian music lacks creativity. Not that the artists aren't creative at all, but there I don't feel deep creative passion. Hillsong's lyrics are full of passion, but I don't feel it outside of the lyrics (not hating on Hillsong... just saying their music isn't designed the same way). What Jon Foreman and Eric Owyoung do is seek God passionately and creatively through their music. They don't straight up say "I praise you God," but that sentiment is abounding in their songs. It's not the type of music that people easily pick up and can sing, but I believe that's a good thing. Instead of a simple chord progression and melody, it is a deeper exploration of music. They seek out new aspects of God, and aren't afraid to be honest with their words or music.

We are called to be creative beings. God created us in His image, which intrinsically makes us creative. Throughout the Bible, music has been used to connect man with God. There is something that tones and pitches convey that words can not describe. We strive to memorize quotes and facts and ideas and often fail - but lyrics stick with us. It is something that I can not quantify, but it is real. It is almost an emotional connection to God - a unspoken path into the most holy places.

If we are called to be creative, why can't our worship reflect this. We need to break the stereotype that worship is simply singing songs to God. Even more importantly, we need to break the stereotype that musicians giving their all and playing to the best of their ability becomes a "performance" if it's worship music. A musician giving all he has for God should not be looked down on. The simplicity of worship music enhances the disparity between what is considered a "performance" (aka playing well) and "worship music" (aka strumming a few chords).

So back to the point: we should and need to worship God with our creativity. I worship God more effectively with a song that I don't know how to sing, but expresses my emotions, than a simple song that I can sing about God but don't connect to it. There is something about listening to an honest reflection of core of a person's soul and the simplicity of the truth around him that opens up a deeper understanding of who God is. As we explore more of the creation, we are bound to discover truth about the creator.

I have found little more powerful than doing this through music. Discovering more of who God is through a channel that is already indescribably bringing you closer to Him. Music is powerful, and God has potential to move a man's soul through it.

How I long to take part in that. To write a song that reflects the core of who I am and the truth around me -a song that extracts the music of my soul and layers on poetic truth into a single unified offering to God. It is my prayer that I experience God deeper through this quest for musical creation, and can in turn share it to bless others.

It is only appropriate that I end with a lyric that captures my feelings, from Future of Forestry's "I Fall"

I'll find a voice to bring you honor

If You could only give me the melody to give You

The affection that my heart knows but never found the song

First Week of Staff

After finishing the first week of school as a staff member, there are a couple things that stood out to me.

First of all, the things I expected.
- I really like our staff team. I expected this, but I am nonetheless overwhelmed by their love. I am glad to know each of them individually, and I consider it a blessing to call them my friends. They are people I know will give their all in helping me, as I would do for them.
- Meetings are similar to when I was a student. There's just more of them.
- Freshmen still don't always understand the role of staff. "Wait... you said you graduated already? Why are you here?" --- "yeah, twice actually"
- I really enjoy meeting with students. I go to campus during my free time (see below), and just chill. Whenever I run into people and start conversations, I always come away blessed.

Some things I didn't expect.
- The transition from student to staff wasn't as bad as I would have imagined. It was much harder going from undergrad to grad than from grad to staff. I think because as a grad student in IV, people were constantly asking me "why are you still here" or "are you just here helping out?". Coming on staff, the only questions I got were "are you on staff?". Also, the boundaries that separate student from staff were already sort of forming my grad year, so that wasn't much of a shock.
- I have so much free time. I didn't realize the extent to how much free time I have. Granted, intern meetings haven't started yet, and I haven't found a job. I know that once those things get into place and more structure is put in my life, I won't have as much free time. But as for now, I don't know what to do with myself a lot of the time. I feel guilty because I think there should be more I'm supposed to be doing... but there isn't. I'm just not used to being in Berkeley and having so little to do (for now).
- I stay up late. I thought I would keep a better sleep schedule on staff. I don't know why I really thought that. Probably because I'm old. Anyways, since my brother stays up late, I do too.

So I continue my journey in the staff world. Since I seem to be having so much free time, maybe I'll be updating this more frequently? Probably not though, since I've said that several times. I'm looking forward to how I learn and grow this year, and how I can lead students toward their own growth and development.

It is by the grace of God that I am here, "and grace will lead me home", wherever that may be.

when words prevent hearing

Tonight is one of those nights where I think a lot. It started during a conversation with a friend from home (the one from the previous post). After talking for a bit, we were both going to drive to a third mutual friend's house to hang out.

On the way there, I was deep in thought about the conversation. I put my ipod on shuffle, hoping to hear a song that would refocus my mind and let me think clearly. A song started playing quietly, and although I didn't recognize it nor hear any words, it calmed me. The music filled my car as I drove through the silent night, and provided a soothing retreat for my mind where I could think. Although the song has no lyrics, it spoke to me in ways that no other song has been able to. It was perfect for that moment.

Too often we are caught up with what is being said. We focus so much on what other's tell us, we don't have time to sit back and listen to the music of the world that frames all of these words. There is a distinct rhythm and melody to our lives. If we let the words and lyrics mask the melody, then we lose sight of the essence of the beauty. Words are tossed around too carelessly and they have little meaning when little thought is put into them. Yet when a beautifully crafted melody is played, each note meticulously woven into a perfect blend of harmony, it is there that we see the perfect union of the music. It is there that we see the true existence of our lives, stripped of the careless layers of words and definitions that constantly weigh us down.

This song reminded me that words are not as important as what is behind the words. It spoke directly to my soul, without having to be filtered in the brain. I am glad that the author's didn't try to write lyrics, but let my heart feel the emotion of the song, and put my own "lyrics" to it.

After the drive, I checked my ipod and found out the song was "Healed," by Shane and Shane. I am reminded that an artist's offering of worship let my soul feel rest. I hope to someday create art that speaks to others, without having to say a word.

Latin Influences

I've always known I've been heavily influenced by Latin culture. I guess that comes with growing up in Escondido.

I was reminded of this fact oddly today. While at the Padres game, the people in the row behind us were talking in Spanish for most of the game. It was oddly comforting and familiar, even though I could not understand what they were saying as well as I used to be able to. In the Bay Area I would hear a lot of Asian languages, but not Spanish very often. Hearing Spanish again reminded me of my home, and made me think more about the influences my youth had upon me.

World View Crash

Tonight was one of those nights I won't forget in a while. It started out normal enough. I went to a Padres game with Chris, my parents, and my best friend from home. (the Padres won, by the way). Anyways, after the game we come home, and I walk with my friend towards the car and start talking to him. This is where the night took a sudden turn.

We started talking about faith. I asked him how he was doing. He wasn't doing too well. Apparently over the past couple of years, he had started doubting a lot more. As a physical therapy student, he started believing evolutionary theory / psychology, and started to wonder about the nature of sin. As he described it, it's hard to recognize that you need Jesus if you don't exactly recognize the sin problem. Furthermore, he had spent time with a family in Mexico. He saw the way that they were perfectly devoted to Catholicism, which was different theologically than how he grew up. Despite this, they were just as friendly and kind to their neighbors as anyone he knew. Thus, why should his religion be the one true one? It's hard for him to believe this when there are countless people around the world believing other things.

As I was listening and talking to him, my foundations were being shaken. Perhaps the hardest part wasn't simply hearing what he was saying, but it was the fact that HE was saying it. This guy, my best friend, was the person who showed me what it meant to be a Christian. He was the one who brought me in and led me to Christ, in effect. Throughout high school I had looked up to him as a model for what I wanted my life to look like in Christ. Thus, to see him doubting and questioning faith, it was hard for me.

We talked for quite a while, talking about these topics and related ones. Coming away from it, I feel shaken up. I am starting to listen to my doubts a little more, and hear the questions ringing in the back of my head. Just the fact that my friend could have gotten to this state disillusioned me. If he could fall down this far, what makes me different. I used to look up to him, and look at where he is now? Also, I was upset with myself for not talking to him earlier. How could I have not noticed?

I'm going to need a lot of prayer in the coming days to get through this. I'm also going to ask to pray for my friend also.

Just before we left, I asked if there's anything I could do. All he said was "I won't refuse prayer." I reminded him of a story during high school. He used to pray before every time he would drive somewhere, for safety. Then, one time, he decided not to just to see what would happen. Then his car broke down. I hope remembering that story will both make him laugh, but also think again about his faith and what he believes. Please keep praying for him. I know I will be.

Churches / Cathedrals in Europe.

When you travel to Europe, you will soon realize that churches and cathedrals are everywhere. Often in many of the smaller towns, the significant feature will be the cathedral in the center of the town. For the larger cities, the cathedrals are popular tourist attractions that draw crowds to see their architecture, sculptures, windows, and history.

The weirdest part about seeing these cathedrals is that I would always have a funny feeling. It was almost a sense of despair. These cathedrals, built as places of worship, have turned into tourist attractions. At first glance, it is awesome that the cathedrals are full of people. However, it is soon apparent that the people inside don't come to worship, and may not even understand the Christian significance. Instead of entering a place of worship, tourist enter a building that has cool art. Many of the cathedrals even sell souveneirs - inside the sanctuary. I couldn't help but think about Jesus overturning the tables inside the temple of Jerusalem. What would he do to the commercialized Christianity that exists in Europe?

It really is tragic that Europe, previously a center of Christianity, is struggling to survive spiritually. Europe is spiritually dying, in desperate need of revival. It's hard to believe that an entire continent, saturated with churches and cathedrals, has lost understanding of their significance. However, it makes sense when you understand that the churches and cathedrals have often lost their Christian attachments. The physical infrastructure is there, but not the spiritual.

Some churches don't even close for Mass. I was at the Cathedral of Sacred Heart in Paris, and there was a mass going on. I couldn't help but feel sadness watching people walking around the cathedral during mass. It's as if tourists saw Mass as a spectacle, just another thing to experience while in Europe. What has happened to the reverence and respect that our God deserves? I know that if I were in a service, I wouldn't want tourists walking around and viewing me as an attraction. I also wouldn't want my place of worship to be an attraction, constantly drawing camera-laden crowds.

Let's pray for a revival in Europe. The churches and priests and pastors and missionaries are all there. What's missing is the hunger and desire for God. I pray for a spark to ignite the hearts of all Europeans, and then the desire and passion to see the flames grow and shine to the rest of the world.